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Fantasy agent responses

by Frank on January 12th, 2012

Like most writers, I’ve collected dozens (all right, hundreds) of responses from agents that say, usually in very few words: “Thanks, but it’s not right for us.” But that doesn’t stop us from dreaming as we keep our noses to the grindstone, hoping for the breakthrough. Recently my hopes have been raised for securing a good agent for my second novel by a nice review from Todd Fonseca (author of The Time Cavern Series) who was kind enough to post his comment on Amazon that my first novel–Final Mercy–was like a combination of Castle and ER.

It’s gets you to dreaming of agent responses like this:

Fantasy agent responses:

“Where do you come up with this stuff? Are you channeling Shakespeare, or what? Even the boring parts are so beautifully written I couldn’t eat or sleep.”

Or: “Stop whatever you’re doing except writing. NOW. I don’t care. Just quit your damned day job, stay at your desk and keep coming up with these glorious scenes!”

Or maybe: “Listen, I’m sending you a contract by personal messenger—not only a contract, but if you don’t mind, we’d like to post bodyguards around your house. We’ve got to protect you at all costs.”

And even perhaps: “When your manuscript hit the office, Spielberg happened to be visiting and took it with him to the bathroom. When he came back, he was literally drooling to sign you up. He not only wants to buy film rights, but he wants you to do the screenplay AND direct! We had to send him back to the john to clean himself up.”

Writers have the right–if not the need–to keep dreaming. It’s part of the job description.

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One Comment
  1. How about ‘we’ll get that million dollar advance out to you tomorrow, but don’t expect it to end there, ’cause you’re just that good.’

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